Hope is 'Lent'

 

For me, the summer of 2010 was a season of unending trials and tribulations. Though I was a twenty-something-year old, the past few years had been tough and it felt like I had already lived a 100 painful years. Disappointments came one after the other - from within and from outside. And just when it felt like things couldn't get any worse, I was fired from my job. 

I finally understood what 'rock bottom' meant. Those were times when tears would come spontaneously and my heart would ache without warning. Life felt unfair and God felt distant. 

One day on my way to work - while serving my forced notice period - as I was riding my scooter, the pain of my situation suddenly and heavily came upon me. Under my helmet, my face covered with a dupatta and eyes hidden by sunglasses, I began to cry. Tears poured down my face as I rode through Sterling Road; my heart hurt with the humiliation of being fired; my dignity had been shattered and my self esteem was lower than it had ever been. I reached the T. Nagar flyover and began the ascent. 

It was about 8 am, so the traffic was light. But, surprisingly, in that usually busy area, not a soul was in sight. As my scooter slowly made its way up, out of nowhere, came a butterfly. This butterfly didn’t look like anything I had ever seen before. Its body was a brilliant blue which faded into a deep midnight black around the edges. This butterfly did not do what ordinary butterflies did - it didn't fly away as the speeding scooter came its way; instead, it fluttered around my helmeted head for a few seconds and then slowly, almost deliberately, sat on the rear view mirror on my right. 

I remember looking at that tiny and delicate butterfly and feeling as one would feel with a compassionate friend. A butterfly that perched itself on my rearview mirror would have amused me on any other day, but on that day all I had felt was an all-pervading peace. My heart, which just a minute ago had been heavy, suddenly felt unburdened and free; where my mind had been defeated and forlorn, I felt overflowing hope. 

There are times in life when nothing but a miracle will suffice - my spirit instinctively knew that through that beautiful butterfly God had sent me a sign that everything was going to be okay. The butterfly never left my side until I descended the flyover and my strength had been renewed. Then, just as it had arrived, it gently fluttered away. 

Everything did not miraculously work itself out. I still had to go to work, face my colleagues' sympathy, fight my demons, look for another job, have awkward interviews. Nothing outside had changed, but within me had come a transformation because of the hope given to me through a delicate butterfly.

Hope - that's what had revived me and given me the strength to go on. 

And that hope is what the season of Lent gives us. That no matter our distance from God, no matter our poor choices, no matter our cruel sins, no matter our rebellion and disobedience, we are reminded that we were loved so much that God himself voluntarily came to earth to live among us, to witness our condition, to show us that our Creator never gave up on us; so much so, that he walked the path to Calvary, and gave His life on the cross as the blemishless and flawless Lamb sacrificed for our sins. 

That is the hope that gives us the will to keep on living in this unjust and cruel world. That no matter how many times we fall, our sincere repentance draws us back to the loving embrace of our Father God, through the redeeming blood of His Son, Jesus. 

This hope lets us forgive and love those who have hurt us and caused us pain - for we know the measure with which we have been forgiven and we are called to do the same. 

Lent will pass and Easter will come, year after year, decade after decade. As life takes its course, we remain yoked to the never-ending and eternal hope that the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus saves us.